Five Things That Should Be Laws in Cedar Rapids
It's hard to imagine some of the crazy laws that are actually on the books in Iowa towns.
Who knew it was illegal to pick flowers in Mt. Vernon?
And shouldn't the city of Des Moines lighten up on the dancing ordinance? It's as if they've never seen "Footloose"!
Regardless, the laws are there for a reason (no matter how stupid the reason may be), and after living here now for a few months, I propose the following five behaviors should be considered "out of bounds" in Cedar Rapids.
Let's see if we can start a movement to pass a few MORE crazy laws here in Cedar Rapids!
It should be illegal to complain more than once per day about the winter weather. Ditto for hot summer spells. It's weather, people. It happens everywhere. Get over it. Anyone caught complaining more than once per day will be sent further north in winter or to the southwest in the summer.
Speeders and tailgaters driving on Mt. Vernon Road should be required to stand in the longest, slowest-moving Porta-John line at the Great Jones County Fair. Just to let them know how much normal drivers appreciate their aggravating driving habits.
Persons caught igniting fireworks in the neighborhood after 10:30 p.m. would be subjected to the sounds of 7:00 a.m. lawn mowers, edgers, trimmers, chain saws, power tools, etc. compliments of early rising neighbors.
Anyone caught ordering more than four meals at any fast food drive-thru will be required to pay the bill for the car behind them who has to wait an extra ten minutes for a simple burger and fires order.
Drivers who park poorly and are taking up two spaces would be required to spend two hours parallel parking in downtown Cedar Rapids. In a rainstorm. During rush hour.