‘How to Talk to a Woman Who is Wearing Headphones’ is the Most Hilarious Article Ever
Last time I checked, a person who is wearing headphones isn't really interested in talking to anyone. This guy apparently hasn't gotten the memo...
I wish I could tell you that this is some form of satire, but it's not. A website called The Modern Man posted an article back in 2013 titled, "How to Talk to a Woman Who is Wearing Headphones." The article has resurfaced on the internet, and has absolutely torn it apart.
The beginning of the article states:
"These days, many women walk around playing with a smartphone or tablet device and are often wearing headphones and listening to music at the same time.
Yet, that doesn’t mean you can’t talk to them."
Well, I definitely thought it did. I mean, I wear my headphones at the gym and out in public all the time as a way to avoid making small talk with strangers, but maybe I'm mistaken. I guess now I'm interested in seeing where this is going. So what's the next step? According to the article, this is "how to get her attention":
"1. Stand in front of her (with 1 to 1.5 meters between you).
2. Have a confident, easy-going smile.
3. If she hasn’t already looked up at you, simply get her attention with a wave of your hand. Wave your hand in her direct line of vision so she can see it.
4. When she looks at you, smile, point to her headphones and confidently ask, “Can you take off your headphones for a minute?” as you pretend to be taking headphones off your head, so she fully understands what you mean.
If she doesn’t understand that you want her to briefly take off her headphones, simply gesture that you want to talk to her by pointing back and forth from you to her and say, 'I want to talk to you for a minute.'"
Ah yes, there's nothing I love more than having a stranger wave their hands in my face while I'm trying to listen to a podcast. Also, it's kind of insulting to assume that even after you waved your hands in my face that I don't understand that you want to speak to me. There's no need for the pointing back and forth and headphone removal gestures, I get it. Now you're just annoying me.
The article goes on and on about what to say and how to say it, but honestly, it's a giant waste of time. I think wearing headphones in public is basically a giant sign that says, "I want to be left alone." For women AND men. Unless the person wearing headphones has dropped something or you are doing some sort of other good deed, there's really no need to bug them.