Cedar Rapids Gets Owned on Urban Dictionary
There's a lot of funny stuff on over at Urban Dictionary. Sure, some of it's downright graphic and crude, but other things are freakin' hilarious.
I hate to rag on my hometown, but Cedar Rapids gets absolutely demolished on Urban Dictionary.
Here are a few excerpts:
The largest speed trap in the USA, cleverly disguised as a city with an inferiority complex.
"I drove through Cedar Rapids yesterday so I'm gonna be a bit late on this month's rent."
An expression for a destitute wasteland void of all human dignity and hope, in which there are more bars than books, and the inhabitance of those bars will talk endlessly to try and convince you that this is where they wanted their life to end up. Where the scale of social structure is so below par when compared to other cities, that the absence of homeless people is less a reflection of a prosperous community, but rather the fact that it is better to be homeless anywhere, than to have a home in Cedar Rapids. Where corn syrup souls only get away with lying to themselves, and where abandoned downtown buildings stand as the most accurate impersonation of a place with any semblance of reality. Where hangovers subsidize the layovers of lives whose plane will never leave the gate, and where the only cultures that survive are the bacteria in the back of your mouth. Where going for a walk is an oddity worthy of drive by heckling. Where daybreak has no sunrise, and nightfall has no sunset. Where children stand on the tips of their toes and look past the looming curvature of the earth in the hopes of seeing some place their dreams can run to without collapsing of exhaustion. An eddy on the side of the Cedar River where people begin to stagnate into everything they never wanted to be.
"But dad I hate Grandma's house, it's so Cedar Rapids in there."